Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares the shit out
of the seeing-eye dog.

What is the most crooked thing
in the world?

A fart. It's aimed for your feet,
but hits your nose.

In a park on Bloomsdale,
God threw a bolt of lightning, giving
life to 2 statues. Half an hour later
they meet half way down a trail,
and come back panting. One says,

"Lets take a short rest, and do it again."

The other says, "Okay. But this time,
I'll hold the pidgeons, and you shit
on them."

One day I went to the "It" store. I saw
one of those "Tickle Me Elmo" dolls,
except it was Ernie.

Rub his ass, and he says,
"You know where I like it, Burt."

Three couples are having dinner.
one of the married couples husband says
"Pass the sugar, sugar." Another one says,
"Pass the honey, honey." Not to be outdone, the last one says,
"Pass the pork YOU! fuck'n pig."

There was a guy from Venous that liked
to suck on his...

Stefan P. R. Rumak
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